From Freddie Hammond

You’ve prayed, sacrificed, worked hard, went without, studied, kept silent, been diligent, not perfect but strived to be better, you’ve waited your turn, been passed over but stayed patient, it took you years to build little by little, you took delayed gratification over immediate pleasure, learned how to pay attention, you stay grounded and your foundation is the WORD.

You may not be perfect but again your foundation is the WORD. Now someone comes into your life in a relationship who hasn’t done these things or has these foundations. There’s an attraction, but clearly they don’t adhere or prescribe to this plan you’ve followed. Their life clearly shows that they don’t. Getting with you is a step up for them but 2 steps back for you. But in the name of LOVE you try it. They negotiate and bargain with you to loosen your standards to help them and you do and it knocks you back another step or 2 or 6.But you try in the name of LOVE. Now you reach a line in the sand where you say that’s it, and now you remember what you did and had to do to achieve all what you’ve achieved. Now you require them to come up. But they don’t because they don’t want to. They say it don’t take all that (and it does and it did) but they look at you and say the dumbest thing that could be said ‘you trying to change me and your answer should be yes’, u must change or this relationship won’t work. Stand your ground and take no more steps backward. Let them know, you will only go as far and tats it. If they have an ounce of decency and respect but don’t want to step up, they’ll leave. If they are a witch or warlock, they’ll try to manipulate you through threats, exposure and intimidation. If they are just off they’ll see you as a dream killer or someone who wanted to change them. If they have a good ground, they will see that you are the best thing for them and honour God and bless Him for putting you in their life.

Here’s the key, you are gonna get blamed for not accepting them as they are, and why should you when your life suffers for it. Believe it or not, some of them want to take you down to where they are and then leave you and dog you for being where they are. The spiritual root of it is jealousy. Let them leave, walk away from them, whatever you have to do and get your life back and you will find your centre (peace) again.

Tru yarns!!

Just a quick one. You might find this a bit eurgh, buh truth be told ‘cleanliness is next to godliness’.

Alright, so I got up early cos I had an early night. Infact I’ve noticed that since i got in to my parents villa, I’ve been sleeping early. Anyway sha, i woke up thanking Baba God for the gift of life. Legged it to the kitchen, for ma English breakfast, chilled with ma mum whilst munching. Ma tummy alerted me that it’s time we talk. So I answered and we met in d usual place. During the meeting, I remembered what my friend told me when he had a similar convo wt his tummy. He said, afta their convo, he cleans up with water and I thot OH EM GEE!!

Anyway d koko of d matter is dat, you all should clean up nicely not just the oyinbo way of using toilet paper.

See, i told u twas gonna b a kwik one!! Ny, i’m out :)

P.S: u myt also av to clean up dat place, incase hubby wants to 'u knw,check it out'

Life Lesson

Ooooh No!! What have I done now? Can’t a girl just live in peace, without her parents on her neck? Yes mummy, I answered as I walked grudgingly to her room. I stood before her and listened to what she had to say. I thought it was going to be snappy so I could get back to facebook and yahoo chat. But no, this wasn’t the story; this call became a conference which led into one or two things.

She started of saying (in her dialect) ‘kikelomo, I’m about to address a topic which we’ve talked about. As long as I’m alive and well and still your mother, I will not stop talking about it. 

I thought to myself, mum could you just make things snappy, plus if you’ve discussed this your so called topic before why the repete???

She said ‘I am not happy with the dress you wore two days ago. I thought WHAT you must be kidding, two days ago. So why you telling me now?? (phew!! these parents)

Guess who stepped in, MY DAD. (ah, it haff finish. Bye bye to facebook PAPA don enter case). He said, ‘darling I was going to mention it but I guess this is the right time. Argh!!! Trust me; I was boiling at this point.

My mum said, well I would have cautioned you but I wanted to do it differently by calling you and going over the reasons why you can’t wear such dresses.

Number one, go and bring the dress and then wear it, then stand in front of the mirror. ‘omo mehn, I thought this must be the height of it all, as per too much long tings. Why do I have to standa in front of the mirror?

Anyway, she said ‘the dress revealed ma cleavage, my arm and back were not covered.

 It is long enough and I’m fine with that. (at least there was one good thing, mo sope te mi). Next time, wear a camisole underneath. Well, I told her wearing a camisole would make the dress look ugly.

She replied saying, wouldn’t it be better if the dress looked ugly than people (she meant guys) seeing you as cheap. Your dignity and respect would be rubbished. Remember, OTHERS CAN DO IT, BUT YOU CANT. Why? Because you are in the world but not of the world.(John 17)

 Exposing your ENDOWED body features won’t make any decent man out there respect you, he will just see you as cheap, then use you and dump you. You do not want that, do you? Well, I answered the obvious and right answer NO.

God in Marriages

Recently, i sat on my sofa to enjoy a reality tv show known as “the stella damscus show”, about 30mins into the show, the guest speaker said something which struck me.

She said, “Many couples have problems in their marriages because right from the altar they fail to put God first”. I suddenly realised how true the statement was. This statement took me back to some engagement ceremonies, where a lot of gifts are set before the couple and these gifts usually include the bible, household appliances and baby products. During the ceremony, the couple are then asked to pick a gift and they always happen to end up picking the bible.

On another occasion, i got up one morning, feeling refreshed after a long night rest. Not forgetting the fact that I tossed and turned about a 100 times before finally going into dreamland. That’s by the way; I got on my lappy and opened the Bella Naija website. Well I went on this website because; I wanted to stay up to date with the socials going on in my country. But this turned out to be the inspiration of what you about to read. I clicked on the weddings icon and went through the pictures. A particular pic caught my attention and a word dropped in my heart. It was an engagement picture, where this beautifully dressed lady posed with a bible lifted high in her palms.

Both incidences have always prompted me to ask these questions, “is this just for show or to please people? And how relevant is the bible in most Christian homes? (Forgetting that there is a reason for everything under the sun) or do they ever consult God when they face hardships?”.

The bible, as most of us know is God’s word and where most believers run to for spiritual back up. A lot of people do not understand the significance of picking the bible. From my understanding, i see it as laying the foundations of marriage on the word of God.

I believe that in marriages you should always put God first and this means focusing and trusting Him for physical and emotional needs just as Matt 6:33 says “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”, doing this will help build the marriage on Godly foundations which not only strengthen the bonds between the couple and will also help them develop Christian values as well.

Other ways of including God in one’s marriage is through constant prayer, spiritual discussions. Another thing which i believe would work incredibly well is being surrounded with other Christian couples as friends and this would involve things like fellowships which would encourage constant communication with God.